Kathleen N Hoagland
8 min readMay 7, 2021

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stress|breathe|meditate|beliefs|myths|grounding

STRESS DOES NOT DEFINE US

How You Can Actually Laugh at Stress & Live Each Day With Ease and Joy

So I know we all have STRESS these days, weeks months and even years.

Yes we are all told stress is just a “Part of Life” and we just need to be able to ebb and flow with the tide in relations to stress and how we react to it.

On one hand, I sort of agree, Yes stress is something we cannot get away from stress is not something our parents or grandparents really had to deal with. There may have been times when a tragic event happened and they dealt with it the best that they could.

However, today we are faced with: multi-tasking, working from home, driving to work in traffic, taking care of children at home while working and home schooling them, taking care of elderly parents, pets, your spouse, other family members and so on and so on.

So what is the answer?

Do you know?

How is your stress level these days?

How are you coping?

If you were coping well, you probably would not be reading this article…am I correct in that assumption?

Ok so here is:

Tip #1

Take Time For Yourself

You need to have time for yourself, you need to say no to anyone requesting help, and find someone to take over if you are a care giver 24/7. You are not a Bad person to take some time for yourself. Actually you are doing everyone a favor because you will be able to recharge and not get ill yourself. We are not robots, we are HUMANS

H elper -being of service to others

U nderstanding -wanting to be available in a time of need

M ajor -contributor to others needs

A lways -saying YES for many reasons

S elfless -you give and give and give

Ok now what you are going to take time for yourself NOW WHAT! I bet you don’t even know what you want to do or where you want to go. You just may need to be spontaneous or ask a friend to help you figure out what you could do. The most important part of Tip #1 is DO IT.

Now for TIP #2:

Being Aware

Being aware that you are under stress and it is affecting your quality of life. But should this not been Tip #1? No we instinctively know we are under stress but we don’t want to ADMIT we are that would make up WEAK. We need to multi-task, work a full-time job, take the kids to soccer practice and swimming, make dinner and answer a hundred emails.

The fact is we DO NOT need to DO ANYTHING except TAXES and DEATH. You can choose what you Do and what you DO NOT WANT TO DO. You have control of your life. I am going to say it Again…You have CONTROL of your life. Yes. You can have a as I call it “Kathy Day” where you tell everyone Wednesday is “Kathy Day ” and I am not available unless it is an extreme emergency.

I plan out what I want to do if it is listen to a webinar or take a class that is what I chose to do, if it is go get a hair cut or go to the ocean and sit by the water that is what I do. Even if you have a full time business of your own, you can still have a “Kathy Day” or “Steve Day” or “Joan Day” you are the Master of your destiny.

TIP #3

Ask for Help.

Yes you can ask for help. You do not have to do it all alone by yourself every day, day after day after day much like “Ground Hog Day The Movie”. Asking someone to help with some chores or taking care of groceries, cooking, cleaning or whatever lightens up your load and you will not be so overburdened and you may even sleep better that night.

Photo by Dee @ Copper and Wild on Unsplash

TIP #4

Journal

Keeping a journal or just the ACT of writing down your thoughts can help get them out of your mind/memory and get them on paper which you can save or even crumple up and throw away or even burn them. This will relieve your mind and it can be calmer and thus have less stressors on your mind.

Also the good events of the day that are written down can be uplifting on a day when you do not feel so upbeat. Don’t forget to write down all the compliments, kind words and smiles you received during the day. We are so hard on ourselves when it comes to accepting and remembering compliments.

Are you getting any Ahha moments Yet? Sparking any thoughts of ok, I can start to take control of my stressors.

I hope so…

Tip #5 coming up right now.

TIP #5

Breathe More

Take some time to deep breathe the simple act of taking slow, deep, belly breaths help to clear our mind, slow down our breathing and heart rate so that we can be in the Present moment and that is the Best place to be.

Pranayama is the Sanskrit word for “control of breath”.

To help you better understand here is some information from the National Institutes of Health.

According to the National Institutes of Health, deep breathing exercises are defined as an active process involving conscious regulation of inhaling and exhaling. Components of breathing exercises may include:

  • Changing the depth of breathing (e.g., deep, shallow)
  • Changing the rate of breathing (e.g., quickly, over a certain duration of time)
  • Changing the way air is inhaled (e.g., mouth, nostrils)
  • Controlling body parts (e.g., relaxing or contracting the stomach)

Diaphragmatic breathing and Three-part breath are just two examples

There are a large number of different breathing exercises that one can learn. Try experimenting with the different way of breathing and see which one works the best for you.

TIP #6

Grounding

You may have never hear of grounding some people call it Earthing but it has been around for a long time. Grounding/Earthing is where you go outside and sit or stand on the grass and let Mother Earth regenerate and rejuvenate your nervous system. You can also go into the water or even the bathtub especially good idea in the winter standing on the cold snow would really wake me up. Below is a book I recommend and have purchased.

Earthing: The Most Important Health Discovery Ever! by Clinton Ober of the

PMC/ US National Library of Medicine National Institute of Health https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4378297/

According to the National Institute of Health check out link above.

Earthing has been shown to help with wound healing, stress reduction, inflammation, prevention and treatment of chronic inflammatory and autoimmune diseases along with a host of other benefits.

Our pets can also benefit from grounding outside, and if they are old or getting up in age and don’t want to go out they seem to love the earthing blankets, mats and patches; our pets are pretty smart cookies.

TIP #7

Drink some Tea

Drinking tea in the evening can help calm down the nervous system and help your body to rest easier when it is time to sleep. There are so many varieties to choose from green tea, , chamomile, ginger, or ashwagandha.

Do you have a favorite calming tea you enjoy?

picture by Me

TIP #8

Hug a Tree

Yes you heard me hug a tree…

.“When you hug [a tree], you feel it first in your toes and then up your legs and into your chest and then up into your head.” — Þór Þorfinnsson, forest ranger

Hugging a tree helps brighten moods, puts a smile on your face, you may even remember playing on a tree as a child.

It is also a good stress reliever as we can’t hug others we can hug a tree and feel wonderful. The energy of the tree also transfers your energy to the other trees. So you and nature come out ahead.

Photo by Marina Abrosimova on Unsplash

TIP #9

Give yourself a great BIG HUG. Tell yourself you love yourself and mean it. Look into the mirror and say I LOVE you and mean it. You Are Perfect Just the Way You Are.

Tip #10

D o something that you are passionate about that brings a smile to your face and a zip to your energy level. You will know it when you find it your face will light up and you will look 10 to 20 years lighter just thinking about it but don’t forget to actually go and experience it.

Bonus Tip

the most important tip of the whole article. Here it is.

Love yourself,

Be Yourself,

Know Yourself.

Stop worrying about others judging you, and don’t listen to the news and so many other media platforms that are geared to put fear and worry into your head.

Go to your heart, listen to your intuition, it knows and you do to you just have to learn to trust yourself.

You’ve got this and remember to treat others like you want to be treated, be kind, smile at yourself and others and stress will not know what to do. You cannot be in stress and worry when you smile. try it and see for yourself. You cannot be Happy and Sad at the same time.

Photo by Agence Olloweb on Unsplash

One more Bonus tip. Try coloring.

I do Intuitive Art with people, and we just scribble on a piece of paper and interpret the meanings of the colors and get answers for the day. Everyone I work with says it was just what they needed. So As I said in the beginning Stress Does Not Define You.

Have a wonderful Happy, Stressless Day

I help women with tools, tips and easy daily practices to kick Stress to the curb.

If you liked this article check other stress articles by clicking below.

https://kathy-hoagland.medium.com/5-steps-to-a-calmer-stress-free-life-9dd9f17f95bd

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Kathleen N Hoagland

I work with women to help them cope with stress & overwhelm. Send for tips on how to reduce stress/anxiety at: kathy.hoagland@mail.com Kathleenhoagland.com